The Amazing and the Weird of Pensacola

There truly are some amazing views in Pensacola, Florida.  Along with the views, there are some really weird things for sale, too.  I got you pictures of both the amazing and the weird.

A view of the bay = amazing

A giant airbrushed gorilla = weird

The Gulf of Mexico = amazing

A WWII and football Mermen hanging from a string = weird

A school of rays swimming in the bay at night = amazing

Giant airbrushed images of Jack Nicholson, Tigers and Abraham Lincoln = weird

A giant merman serving a martini...a guess making him a mermaid = weird

“True” History Tuesday – Air Brushed T-Shirts

Air brushed t-shirts were created by Moses in 1270 BCE.  Moses had been wandering around the desert for nearly 40 years and he was hot in his inner tunic and outer tunic coat.  He was also really proud of the burning bush incident, surviving the Ten Plagues, leading the Exodus and receiving the Ten Commandments.  He decided to kill two birds with one stone and memorialize his deeds and create a more comfortable clothing option for the arid region.  He figured it would be all the rage in the Promised Land. 

Thankfully, for his trek through the desert he had packed a drinking straw and paint.  Blowing in the straw while holding the paint produced an amazing result and thus the airbrush was born. Sadly, Moses died in 1271 BCE within sight of the Promised Land.  While initially his t-shirts were quite popular, they soon lost their appeal.  The lost art of Moses’ airbrush design was discovered again in the late 19^th century.  Airbrush t-shirts have now become a staple at tourist traps throughout the United States.  In some places, the vacationers can even find the Ten Commandments proudly airbrushed on a gleaming white Hanes t-shirt.  No doubt, Moses would be proud of the marriage of two of his achievements available for purchase at most vacation destinations where funnel cakes are also sold.

Sippy Cup Margarita Mayhem at Applebees

Tiffany and I are taking a short little vacation to the beach.  At the start of our drive this morning, we heard on the radio that an Applebee’s in Michigan accidently filled a toddler’s sippy cup with a margarita instead of apple juice.  Talk about screw ups…damn.  So I did a little research and turns out, this isn’t the first time Applebee’s has done this.  Wow major screw up.  Apparently, the containers for the margaritas and apple juice are the same.  Nice.  It is quickly apparent how this happened.  Obviously, a decision made in a board room by higher ups who had no idea what it was like to work in a busy restaurant.  Sure it doesn’t matter if the containers look the same…oh and be sure to put the tequila based drinks right by the apple juice!  That will save counter space and look pretty!   I’m feeling lucky now.  Maybe I’ll get myself a sippy cup and see if I, too can get a margarita for an apple juice price.

Now if you remember I really like road trips for photo hunting.  Here are a few shots I got on the way to the beach.  Now I’m off to people watch on the beach and get myself some fried shrimps and beers.



mmm fresh shrimp philly cheesesteaks...



What does this even mean?



Tomatoes, Lightsaber Popsicles and A Cotton Candy Martini

Tomatoes

Tomatoes are yummy

Cherry tomatoes and gin rummy

Tomatoes in a crate made of wood

Throwing rotten tomatoes in the hood

A fried green tomato today

A fried green tomato in May

A Bloody Mary without them

Is like the Junior M.A.F.I.A. with no Lil’ Kim

Tomatoes morning, noon and night

A tomato while you fly a kite

Tomatoes on the vine

Travel nicely while you float the Rhine

That is all

Eat a tomato ya’ll

That’s a poem I wrote awhile back.  In case you couldn’t tell from the title…it is about tomatoes.   My cherry tomato plant has three little tomatoes on it and they are growing nicely!  It has been really difficult to not just pull them off and eat them, but they aren’t red yet so I’ll be patient and just stare at them.  While I’m doing that you totally need to watch this video.

I was introduced to a tasty drink last night.  Trust me it is going to sound gross and like it will be way too sweet, but it really is good.  You’ll also feel magical when you pour the liquid on the cotton candy.  Enjoy!

Cotton Candy Martini  (from Colt and www.food.com)

Ingredients

1 ½ ounces vodka

½ ounce x-rated fusion liqueur

1 ounce cranberry juice

Pink cotton candy

Preparation

Put some cotton candy in a martini glass.  Put the rest of the ingredients in a martini shaker and shake well.  Pour cocktail over the cotton candy, it dissolves instantly so present the glass before pouring so you can show off and stuff.

A New Job and A Duh Moment

I got a job.  I’ll be working as a part-time teacher for Fresh Air Family.  I’m excited about the opportunity.  One of the things I missed most about my old job was working with kids. Now I’ll be back to doing that again.  I start in two weeks.  I absolutely plan to continue this blog about unemployment even though I technically do have a job now.  Teaching and writing are my passions and I feel lucky that I’ll be able to do both.  So I’ll keep writing and I hope you’ll keep reading.

I had a really stupid moment yesterday.  For quite some time, the pictures I took with my phone have been really cloudy looking.  I kept adjusting the brightness, the saturation, the contrast and the sharpness trying to remedy the situation.  I take lots of pictures with my phone.  As I’ve mentioned before, I have a gift for getting good pictures of weird crap or jacked up signs, etc.  Having my phone not operating in tip top form for these random photo opportunities happen was like having a unicycle with a flat tire.  Like being a painter with no brush.  Like being a grocery store with no food.  Like being a cowboy with no saddle. Like being…well you get the idea.  I was becoming melancholy.  The photo hunt was losing its luster for me.  If the photos were cloudy and grainy what was the damn point?  If you can’t put your best foot forward then why walk at all.  I was nearing a breaking point.  Then suddenly it hit me…THE LENSE.  I had never cleaned my camera’s LENSE.  Well I cleaned it and the pictures are suddenly back to being crystal clear.  Oh happy day.  Naturally, I felt like a complete idiot, but the relief of being picture ready at all times completely outweighs the idiot quotient.

Pre-Lense Cleaning Discovery

This delightful hoarding scene was a house in my neighborhood.  The cloudy picture just doesn't do it justice.

Post-Lense Cleaning Discovery

See how much better this is!  Now clearly this picture was taken several days later and the property has been picked nearly clean by other hoarders, but I think the before and after is staggering.

Freaky Friday Favorites

Well smack me upside the head…here we are at another Friday.  I swear it seems like once every week it is time for Freaky Friday Favorites.  Crazy!  Is it just me or is that Paul Williams (picture above) in this first video having some sort of seizure?

Classy Wedding Collection!

As Good As It Got

It is amazing how much an alarm clock can scare you if you haven’t used one in nearly six months.  I had a dentist appointment yesterday at 9:00am.  So I had to get up early to walk the dogs and get ready.  I’m not going to the dentist without my lipstick, pearls and Aqua Net precise hair. When the alarm went off, I jumped up ready to ward off an attack.  Naturally, the dogs went flying before engaging in a complete barking frenzy.  I appreciate how much they had my back during this emergency.  As I ran around the bedroom looking for my clothes and a weapon, I noticed Tiffany sitting up in bed staring at me.  The best way I can describe the look is to imagine the looks that Carol Connelly (Helen Hunt) gave Melvin Udall (Jack Nicholson) when he said something really insulting or crazy in As Good As It Gets.  Well that kind of look will stop you in your tracks.  That of course, gave me time to think and remember that I had actually caused this alarm and it was to wake me up.  By this time, Tiffany had lay back down to resume sleeping.  We’ve been together nearly sixteen years, so when things such as this happen, no words need to be exchanged…we just know.

I set the alarm again this morning.  We have another estimate for new windows that we can’t afford.  The alarm was an exact repeat of yesterday’s performance…only Tiffany didn’t even wake up to look at me.  I figured it out on my own!  That is progress.  Pavlov was right!