Freaky Friday Favorites

Thanks Tim for sharing this...ladies hold on to the girls on those coasters.

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Rompers and Paula Deen

Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Edwards walk into a bar to meet Tiger Woods…that’s all I got. 

I was watching television this morning and a model came out wearing a velour romper.  This is apparently the latest thing now.  I remember rompers being all the craze when I was in preschool.  I’m pretty sure of two things:  I will never wear velour and I, sure as shit, will not be wearing a romper.  One would think, I would then include a disclaimer about these rules in the event of an old school roller skating session, but alas, no because instead of velour I would wear satin and instead of romper I would wear daisey dukes.

That's my dog Celie.  That is what she looked like while I typed that last paragraph.

Paula Deen was in Birmingham this morning.  She was here with Al Roker to give away over 1.7 million dollars worth of stuff to the Community Kitchens of Birmingham.  It was really amazing to see and such a great thing for a good organization.  I did want to include, because it wasn’t stated in the program, that Paula Deen actually arrived in Birmingham like this.

MM Sandwiches - WTF and WOW Recipe

source of 3 pictures

MM Sandwiches – PW Style (thepioneerwoman.com)

4 tablespoons butter

2 pounds cube steak (round steak that’s been extra tenderized)

Kosher salt

Freshly ground pepper

1 whole large yellow onion, halved and sliced thick

2 whole green bell peppers, sliced into rings

2 whole red peppers, sliced into rings

3 cloves garlic, minced

16 ounces white mushrooms sliced

2 tablespoons (additional) butter

1 ½ cup sherry (cooking sherry is fine)

4 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

4 dashes Tabasco (more to taste)

8 whole deli rolls (the crustier the better)

2 tablespoons (additional) butter

8 slices cheese (provolone, swiss, pepper jack)

Preparation

Cut cube steak into strips against the grain.  Season with salt and pepper.  Set aside.  Heat 4 tablespoons butter in a large skillet over high heat.  As soon as it is melted (but before it burns) brown strips of cube steak in two or three batches, about 1 ½ minutes per side.  Remove meat to a clean plate when brown.  Set aside.  Reduce heat to medium-high.  Add onions, garlic green peppers, and red peppers and cook for 3 to 5 minutes, or until relatively soft (but not flimsy).  Remove to a clean plate. Set aside.  Melt 2 additional tablespoons butter to the skillet.  Add sliced mushrooms and stir.  Pour in sherry, then add Worcestershire and Tabasco. Cook over medium-high heat for five minutes, or until liquid has reduced by about a third.  Add in meat and vegetables, stirring to combine.  Cook for just a few minutes to heat everything up, adding more sherry and Worcestershire and Tabasco as needed.  Stir in 2 tablespoons butter at the end.  Keep hot.  Toast halved deli rolls in plenty of butter until golden brown and crisp.  Spoon meat/veggie mixture on the lower half of the bun, then spoon one or two tablespoons of pan sauce over the meat (it will soak into the bun).  Drizzle a little sauce on the underside of the top bun, too, for extra flavor and moisture.  Top with cheese and broil for a minute or two, until the cheese is melted.  Serve immediately.

“True” History Tuesday – The Unknown Comic

History shows that the Unknown Comic was a guy named Murray Langston who did comedy bits during the seventies with a paper bag over his head.  History is wrong.  “True” history shows that the Unknown Comic was actually the Zodiac Killer who was named D.B. Cooper.  D.B. Cooper was born in the Scottish Highlands in the Loch Ness.  Eventually, he made his way to the Bermuda Triangle where he was raised by a Sasquatch, named Rose Sage.  D. B. Cooper took a turn for the worse when his dog, Chupacabra, was killed in the late 1950s.  He wandered the desert in Area 51 for several years only to emerge in Northern California.  He was involved in several horrible murders…no doubt a product of being born of Nessie and raised by Bigfoot. 

Although he never was brought to trial for his awful crimes as the Zodiac Killer, he was punished by Amelia Earhart.  Among other things, she made him watch that crappy movie Amelia with Hilary Swank nonstop for six years.  It was at this point that he changed his name to the Unknown Comic and made an appearance on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In and later a regular bit on The Gong Show.  Once again, “True” History Tuesday clears up a lingering mystery.  You’re welcome.

Peanut Butter Bacon Burgers

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As if I don’t have enough to worry about, now I’m convinced wild birds are going to attack me.  I discovered this story, Angry Birds Dive Bomb Police Officers, while reading the news this morning.  It isn’t enough that birds are now stealing the tomatoes in my garden, but I’m likely to be crossing the street and one will peck me on the head or worse, shit in my mouth while I’m looking up to the sky.  I’m really worried.  It is like earlier this year birds were dying in droves and now instead of dying they are attacking.  We’re a goner.  Which sucks, because I was planning a party for the upcoming Rapture in October…I really wanted to live a little longer so I can plan that menu.  Luckily, I do have a hard hat.  I think I’ll take that hard hat and add a giant spring on the top.  If I put a cardboard cut-out of a hand on top of the giant spring, this will be a good way to shoo the birds away.  It would be like double-protection with the hard hat and hand combination.  I’m going to go make that now.  I do have a glue gun.  I feel better now.

I went to S & B Burger Joint in Oklahoma City not too long ago.  They had a burger called The Elvis.  Basically, it was peanut butter and bacon on a burger.  It was good.  Really good.  I attempted the recipe at home and it was good, too.  Really good.  Don’t be cruel, give it a try.

Peanut Butter Bacon Burger

Ingredients

I pound of ground sirloin

Worcestershire sauce

Salt and pepper

Apple smocked bacon

Peanut  butter

Mayo

Hamburger buns

Preparation

Season beef with Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper.  Cook to liking on grill.  Build burger with bacon, peanut butter and mayo on bun.  Grab a napkin, you’ll need it and enjoy.

  

New Schedule

I was searching for more funny material regarding Anthony Weiner’s wiener this morning, but I got distracted and found this instead Dogs Vs. Sprinklers. 

My partner will be starting a new job soon.  It is with the same company, but different pharmacy and different hours.  She’ll be working seven days on and then seven days off and she’ll have the night shift.  She has always wanted to be a compounding pharmacist, so we are happy with the change.  The big issue will be the sleeping situation.  One thing I noticed from my time in unemployment is our four dogs and three birds are really loud throughout the day.  They have a lot going on and feel the need to bark, chirp and scream about everything.  This is not good for sleeping.  One thing I’ve learned in 16 years with my partner is…you do not jack with her sleep.  She’ll come at you like Brad Pitt in Fight Club and then quietly go back to sleep as you search under the bed for your knocked out teeth.  I fear for the dogs, but I really fear for the birds.  If everyone lives through this change it will be a miracle.  To add to the dilemma, we also have a window in our bedroom.  When the sun comes up it shines through that window like a Fresnel lens on the world’s largest lighthouse. 

The birds this morning.  You can't tell in the picture, but they are whistling and chirping...loudly.

The brightest window plus Harpo and Celie wrestling...loudly.

This morning I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Otherwise, that window will be broken out and the shards of glass will be used as shanks to stab the animals.  I made a care package.  I presented it with lots of fanfare (although I was pissed because Wal Mart failed to put my card in the bag…damn you Sam Walton).  The fanfare, of course, did not happen until she was fully awake and at a safe distance from her brass knuckles.  She liked the gifts.  I think we’ll make it through the new schedule…but I’ll keep you updated.

Although the tagline and packaging looks like condoms, these are actually earplugs.

This will terrify me to see Tiffany sleeping in this, but I will just find a way to deal with it.

Gay Pride and Rainbow Cocktails

This weekend is Gay Pride in Birmingham.  Today we will be going to the parade.  Gay Pride parades are really the best.  I mean marching bands and Shriners in little cars are cool enough, but you can’t really top (haha) drag queens, rainbow floats and bikers in ass-less chaps.  I’ve watched these parades grow every year.  I can’t lie…it does make my proud.  I love my community in all its weirdness and diversity.  Even though it doesn’t always feel like it, things are changing and getting better.  We still have a very long way to go (click here to view the 2011 Map on Lesbian and Gay Rights in the World), but there is hope and more and more acceptance every day. 

Malibu Reggae Rainbow Cocktail (http://www.1001cocktails.com/)

Ingredients
2 oz of Malibu coconut rum

1 oz Midori melon liqueur

3-4 oz apple juice

Splash of cranberry juice

Preparation
Mix in shaker, shake lightly and pour over ice…in a plastic cup.

Rainbow Cocktail (http://savoystomp.com)

Ingredients
1/7 Crème de Cacao
1/7 Crème de Violette
1/7 Yellow Chartreuse
1/7 Maraschino
1/7 Benedictine
1/7 Green Chartreuse
1/7 Brandy

Preparation
Use liqueur glass and pour ingredients carefully so that they do not mix.