Thursday, December 22, 2011

Annoyed and Gay


I’ve never had a very good poker face (yes, you can sing Lady Gaga right here).  If I’m annoyed, you can usually tell.  My face even looks annoyed when I’m not annoyed.  My resting face is just an annoyed looking face.  What can you do?  I have a picture that perfectly illustrates this fact.  This was taken Christmas 1978.  As you can see, I have on my annoyed resting face.  My sister, as usual, has on her smiling face.  Her resting face is also a smiling face.  There is a very good chance I was, in fact, annoyed and there is also a very good chance my sister was, in fact, happy.  Or…we weren’t either. 


Earlier this year, I used this picture as the basis for a post for the Born This Way Blog.  The blog uses pictures with stories to illustrate how, even as kids, all us homos looked gay as hell.  Basically, proving that we were born this way (yes, you can sing Lady Gaga again).  It is a really great blog and I’m super proud to have a post there.  Click here to read.  At any rate, if there was any doubt I’m a lesbian…please refer to this picture.  All I need is a wallet chain and Melissa Etheridge CD in one hand and a long neck beer in the other to complete the ensemble. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Sausage And Egg Casserole - WTF and WOW Recipe Wednesday



My attention span for online videos is normally just under 2 minutes, however, I find watching human stupidity holds my attention for at least 12.21 minutes.  This video is a compilation of the best fails of 2011.  It is just like a buffet of WTF.  Enjoy.



Sausage And Egg Casserole (http://www.southernliving.com)

Ingredients
8 (1 ½ oz) sourdough bread slices, cut into ½ inch cubes
Vegetable cooking spray
1 (12 oz) package fully cooked pork sausage crumbs
2 ½ cups 2% reduced fat milk
4 large eggs
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
½ cup buttermilk
1 (10 ¾ oz) can cream of mushroom soup
1 cup (4 oz) shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

Preparation
Arrange bread in 2 lightly greases 8 inch square baking dishes, 1 lightly greases 13 x 9 baking dish or line up your ramekins!  Top evenly with sausage.  Whisk together 2 ½ cups milk, eggs and Dijon mustard.  Pour evenly over bread mixture. 

Whisk together buttermilk and cream of mushroom soup.  Spoon over bread mixture; sprinkle with Cheddar cheese.  Place casserole on baking sheet.
Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour or until casserole is set.  Serve immediately.  





Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Chris Kringle and Christopher Cross – “True” History Tuesday


Everyone knows Santa Claus as the jolly man who stuffs his fat ass down your chimney to deliver presents on Christmas Eve.   He travels the world in a sleigh led by flying reindeer.  He lives at the North Pole with a bunch of toy making elves.  This has been the story for years, but what you don’t know is Santa Claus also loves to sing and hates disco. 



Santa Claus, also known as Chris Kringle, got really pissed during the rise of disco in the 1970s.   He was always a singer and songwriter, but he only ever performed for Mrs. Claus and the elves.  His anger at disco convinced him it was time to take his singing to a wider audience.  He used some of his secret glitter magic, the same magic he uses to make reindeer fly, to alter his looks just slightly and then mesmerize record executives at Warner Brothers.  His debut album soared to the top of the charts.  His haunting ballads captivated the world.  He sang of sailing and riding like the wind and nobody every guessed he was singing about his sleigh and reindeer.  He really kicked disco in the boogie oogie oogie ass with his music.  Before going back to the North Pole he recorded Arthur’s Theme for the movie Arthur.  This song was actually about one of his favorite elves who had a drinking problem.  Christopher Cross Claus Kringle will always be remembered for Christmas and his record-breaking debut album Christopher Cross.  






Monday, December 19, 2011

Roasted Tomato Soup 2 and Peppermint Play Dough


Yesterday I stopped playing Skyrim long enough to make roasted tomato soup.  It was delicious and gave me the energy boost necessary to continue hunting dragons.  Ironically, just like in the game, I was wearing an iron mask with horns on the top and carrying an ancient battle axe weighing 22 pounds and dragon bones weighing 35 pounds.  All this made cooking a real workout.  Give this soup a try, you won’t be disappointed. 


Roasted Tomato Soup (http://sproutedkitchen.com)

Ingredients
1 ¼ pound ripe tomatoes (about 4 large tomatoes)
½ medium yellow onion
3 garlic cloves
1 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tsp Sea Salt
Fresh Ground Pepper
1 Tbsp Chopped Parsley
1 ½ Cups Low Sodium Vegetable or Chicken Broth
1 Tbsp Organic Tomato Paste
¼ Cup Heavy Cream or Half and Half
Fresh Oregano + Basil for Garnish
Garlic Croutons
Asiago Cheese

Preparation
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.  Cut tomatoes and onions in wedges.  Use your finger to push out some of the seedy parts of the tomatoes.  Just get out the big seedy parts, a bit intact is fine.  Spread the onions and tomatoes on a rimmed baking sheet lined with foil.  Drizzle the olive oil and sprinkle the salt, a generous amount of pepper, the chopped parsley and gently toss it with your hands.  Tuck the garlic cloves somewhere in the tomato, so they don’t burn.  Roast on the middle rack for 30 to 40 minutes or until the tomatoes have broken down and reduced to about half their size.  Remove and cool slightly.

Warm the broth and stir in the tomato paste to dissolve.  Add all the ingredients from the roasting pan into the broth and let it gently simmer for 5 to 10 minutes.  Use an immersion blender to puree the soup in the bowl, or with a food processor or blender.  The soup should be smooth, with some texture.  If you don’t like any texture at all, you could run it through a fine mesh sieve.  Return it back to the pot, and add the cream to taste.  Taste for salt and pepper.
Serve with some croutons and cheese on top.  Broil on high until cheese is melted and slightly burnt.  Top with oregano and basil and serve.


BTW…this is usually what I see just off to the side when I take my pictures.

An activity I’ve done with kids many many times is making play dough.  They love it.  Homemade play dough is not as easy to work with as store bought play dough, but the fun in making it and the sense of accomplishment is worth the trade-off.  Because it is the week of Christmas, try this recipe.  

Peppermint Play Dough (www.theidearoom.net)

Ingredients
1 cup flour
¼ cup salt
2 tablespoons cream of tartar
1 tablespoon peppermint oil extract
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup water

Preparation
Mix flour, salt and cream of tartar in a medium cooking pot.  Add water, peppermint extract and oil.  Stir over medium heat 3 to 5 minutes stirring constantly.  When mixture forms a ball in the pot, remove.  Knead until smooth.   Now you can play and create with your good smelling play dough!  Put in a plastic bag and refrigerate to store. 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Christmas Cocktails!


What would the holidays be without cocktails?  I shudder to imagine.  Jesus turned water into wine…I think He’d be a little offended if you didn’t imbibe a little booze on His birthday.  WWJD?  He’d try these cocktails this holiday season.

The Grinch (http://itthing.com)

Ingredients
2 oz Midori
½ oz lemon juice
1 tsp simple syrup
Maraschino cherry and candy cane for garnish
Smashed peppermints or sugar for rim of glass

Preparation
Use some of your simple syrup to line rim of martini glass.  Dip top of glass in plate of smashed peppermints or sugar.  Pour ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice.  Shake well.  Strain into a chilled martini glass.  Garnish with cherry or peppermint.

Eggnog Martini (http://www.celebrations.com)


 Ingredients

2 ounces of dark rum
½ ounce of vanilla vodka
1 ½ ounces of Eggnog
Dash of simple syrup
Crushed graham crackers for garnish
Ice

Preparation
Before serving, crush one graham cracker per glass onto a side plate.

On another plate pour a dash of simple syrup and gently set your martini glass on the plate to coat the rim, then place the glass onto the graham cracker plate to coat the rim with crushed crackers and let stand while you prepare the martini.

In a cocktail shaker, add the ingredients and shake vigorously before straining into a martini glass.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Chocolate Peppermint Bundt Cake


Tis the season to eat lots of crap!  How in the world can you legitimately AGAIN make your New Year’s resolution to lose weight, if you don’t do what you can to gain as much weight as humanely possible before the New Year?  You just can’t!  Here’s any easy dessert recipe that is perfect for this time of year.  Never underestimate the ability to jazz up a box of cake mix.  


Chocolate Peppermint Bundt Cake (www.myrecipes.com)

Ingredients
1 package devil’s food cake mix
½ cup sugar
1 (3.9 ounce) package chocolate instant pudding mix
1 cup vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 (8 ounce) container sour cream
1 teaspoon peppermint extract
1 cup sifted powdered sugar
1 ½ to 2 tablespoons milk
½ cup coarsely crushed hard peppermint candies

Preparation
Heavily grease and flour a 12 cup Bundt pan.  Set aside.

Combine first 7 ingredients in a large mixing bowl.  Beat at low speed with an electric mixer just until combined.  Beat at high speed 2 minutes.  Pour batter in prepared pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.  Cool in pan on a wire rack 15 minutes; remove from pan, and cool on wire rack.

Place cake on serving plate.  Stir together powdered sugar and enough milk to make glaze a good drizzling consistency.  Drizzle glaze over cake, and sprinkle with crushed candies.