Friday, December 31, 2010

Flushing 2010 Down the Toilet

You know it is going to be a good day when the neighbors have a lengthy visit from a plumber.  Not that I wish a stopped up toilet or backed up main line on anyone (well almost anyone), but if it benefits me in something meaningful to observe from my porch, then I view it as a small victory.  And, as luck would also have it, I had a six pack of Blue Moon in the fridge, as well as an orange!  I quickly transferred my beers to a cooler and headed for the front porch!  Nothing could dash my spirits, not even the absence of a much hoped for backhoe.  Yep it was a good day…life is really good.  Speaking of sewage, I could think 2010 was mostly full of shit.  But maybe just maybe at some point I will look back and think it was the best of years, but for now goodbye 2010.  I am making room for 2011, and I’m going to make every day feel just like a 70 degree day on the porch with a six pack of beer and a neighbor’s plumbing drama to keep me company.  

Oh, and as promised, here is a picture of the Jambalaya.  It smells super good.  Tonight will be good time fun with some friends.  We will eat this Jambalaya, drink lots and lots and hopefully not stop up my toilet as we ring in the New Year with the gastrointestinal carnage that Jambalaya done right can cause.  Because pay backs are hell and my neighbor has a porch, too.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Prozac Peanut Butter Balls

I have four dogs and they are an absolute mess.  I understand that this is my fault and I really need to approach this like the manager I used to be…but alas chaos reigns.  Part of this chaos is due to the fact that all of our dogs were “rescued.”  One in particular has asserted herself as the CEO of our household.  She is ruthless, cut-throat and utterly unstable.  She is part Chihuahua and part Pug…the combination left her with an amazingly ugly and yet endearingly adorable face.  It is for this reason and my love of The Color Purple that we named her Celie. 

Another of our dogs is Saphie.  She is a terrier and I should mention the Valedictorian of her obedience class.  She is the worrier of our group.  She displays panic at the most ordinary of things.  She too is completely unstable.  One of my friends said she looked like a baked potato with toothpicks for legs.  I love her.  She is my angel. 

The reason why I am introducing you to two of our dogs is because being off work has trapped us in the same house for hours and hours and days and days.  We are annoying each other.  But we are finding our way.  We are finding our routine. Years and years of work forced me into creating routines and schedules.  Routines like making the coffee, attending meetings, checking email, avoiding annoying people, etc.  Losing your job makes you feel like a boat without a rudder.  It is the loss of money of course, but also the loss of your routine.  If you don’t get control of it and figure your way you might end up eating grass, yelling at cars and actually listening to the voices in your head.  You must create certain days for cleaning the toilets, days for the laundry, time for the floors and so on and so forth.  Every morning now we have pill dispensing time for Celie and Saphie.  Celie is on Prozac and Saphie is taking Glucosamine & Chondroitin.  It was like the meds scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and it was a painful way to start each morning...that is until we added peanut butter. Now each morning is spent crushing up pills and making tasty medicated peanut butter balls.  It is great fun and the other two dogs get a taste, too minus the pills of course.  I equate it to a team building meeting!  Progress and a hated task on one hand and good times and fun on the other…pills and peanut butter!  We are like those crazy folks in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Car singing and slinging peanut butter!
Not much additional news on the job in Shreveport.  I did send my almost boss an email telling her that I was certainly excited about the move and the job, but now I’m more than a little worried.  I know I don’t want to be the one who shows up for a new job while others are forced to leave and I also don’t want us to move only to get laid off again myself.  At some level, I think I actually just got laid off from a job I hadn’t even started yet.  Well again tomorrow is another day.  And you know the old saying another day another Prozac.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Chewbacca and Scarlett O'Hara

The urge to pee during Christmas shopping was too great to ignore.  Getting to Target and seeing the Rest Room sign was, I have to imagine, a sensation similar to what the Three Wise Men must have felt when they saw that bright shining star in the sky so so long ago.  I rushed in along with two other women and we each quickly found our own stalls.   Aaaaaa relief and then I hear the very loud cry of Chewbacca …scary really.  Then I remember with wide-eyed horror that the new Star Wars app I just installed on my phone was notifying me that I had just received a text message. 

I decided to start today’s blog entry with that story from a shopping experience with my sister (hi Jill!!!) just before Christmas.  I was always taught you should grab the reader’s attention really quickly and I hope this pee story moment did just that.  I also was told that if I am going to talk about food and cocktails that I best put those recipes in the blog as well (hi Brenda!!!).  So I will correct that mistake with the recipes for Jambalaya and the Victor Newman Young and the Restless cocktail at the end of this entry.  Which starts in 3, 2, 1...I should mention it has been 71 days since I got laid off which is clearly not that long really.  During that time, too I actually have gone on two interviews and the second resulted in a job offer that I accepted.  The job is in Louisiana doing pretty much what I did before minus some of the stuff I really disliked about my former job.  Pretty exciting for sure!  My partner, Tiffany is a pharmacist and has a job there waiting and our house is on the market.  We are good to go…except I got an email last week that the museum lost some major funding.  I should find out more tomorrow and it appears that the job is still mine…but do I still want it?  Not quite sure.  My strategy is to approach this as Scarlett O’Hara would and think tomorrow is another day and I will figure it all out then…not the best strategy, but it does go nicely with the Civil War era hoop skirt I made from the curtains in the dining room.  The dogs (I have four) and I reenacted the Siege of Vicksburg earlier today in between loads of laundry.  So tomorrow’s blog will be about the new job…does it exist or doesn’t it?  And now as promised the recipes:
The Victor Newman Young and the Restless Cocktail

Instead of the usual list of ingredients I will just represent the cocktail with a photo.  The drink is best enjoyed with a box of Kleenex to cry for the many jilted lovers Newman has left in his wake.  You’ll quickly realize based on the photo that the drink is a Bloody Mary.  I can change an established cocktail name if I want because this is my blog and stuff.  In fact, let’s change the name again to a Bloody Newman…sounds dirty, violent and very soap opera-ish! 
Here is the link for the Jambalaya I found on the internettes.  I won't be making it until Friday, but I promise I will give a review and include photos.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Chupacabra Jambalaya

One thing that becomes very important for the unexpected housewife is grocery shopping.  In the past, this used to be a rushed and often annoying chore because you had to go on the weekends, you were tired, you had a rough week at work…whatever fill in the blank…it was a pain.  Now an entire day can revolve around one recipe and the planning of the grocery visit.  I take this on now like I took on senior management…think big, plan the logistics and then make it happen.  Today’s big adventure was a plan for Jambalaya.  After a very thorough (like hours) search I found the perfect recipe.  However, before heading out to the grocery it is important to take time to go through your collection of coupons…I NEVER clipped coupons before and now every Wednesday is devoted to looking, clipping and filing coupons!  Coupons searched and now it is off to the car.  Obviously, I used to go to the grocery store closest to my house…not so anymore!  I decide to go to Super Target which is about 20 minutes away in Trussville.  Now what is really exciting about Jambalaya is the time it will take to chop the onion, celery, green pepper, andouille sausage (which is fun to say BTW), chicken, etc.  I have always loved cooking, but often found it hard to find the former job was pretty demanding.  This is a bonus of the housewife lifestyle…plenty of time to really put a meal together.  That is unless Victor on the Young in the Restless is up to some kind of villainous no good that requires my attention…then it is time for a cocktail and reflection in front of the TV.  So not only will the chopping take time, finding all the ingredients is also gloriously time consuming.  I could spend all day roaming the aisles just like the hour upon hour spent in those ridiculously annoying meetings I used to be forced to attend…only this nonsensical waste of time might very well involve free food samples on every aisle!  I got an additional bonus of two police cars with sirens passing me on the way home.  I hoped to see where they were going but, alas, no luck…although I did look for a good 47 minutes for them.  Once I got home I took some more time to clean the fridge and organize all the ingredients for my masterpiece.  Oh! I almost forgot to mention I spotted what I believe to be a Chupacabra in my living room.  I stilled my senses enough to reach for my phone and a flashlight and get a picture.  So all and all this was a very productive and good day! 

Monday, December 27, 2010

A bit of a preview of me, but more of a test to figure out how this blogging business works I try to think of other things that might define 2010 for me like:  turning 40, celebrating  15 years with my partner, going on a Mediterranean cruise and seeing some pretty amazing ancient shit.  I keep getting stuck on the damn getting laid off thing as the that thing that will define this year for me.  Sucks to lose your job, but really sucks for it to define a year filled with some really kick ass stuff.  So there it is then, that defines this year…damnit.  I’ve worked since I was 13 including working my way through college and paying all that off.  I’ve always been a really hard worker…and particularly good at the things I do.  So now I find myself at 40 without a job and a partner saying “for Christ’s sake can’t you find something to do. I don’t know write a blog or something…anything just stop talking during VH1’s JumpStart.”  So here it is, my first blog and I’m hula hooping while I’m typing this because did I mention I’m really good at multi-tasking?  Seriously who gets rid of an employee who can take notes in a meeting while sleeping?