Toilet Bowl Envy

Today was bathroom cleaning day.  I’ve gotten to a point of priding myself on the cleanliness of our toilets.  I feel certain I’d cinch the employee of the quarter award, for my first three months of joblessness, in this chore alone.  That is, of course, if my dog Celie, as CEO of our house, were napping less and focusing more on employee recognition.  I feel certain that as with any boss, this oversight will catch up with her.  But, for now, she lounges about like the Queen of Siam.  But I digress…often times, as I walk by the bathrooms and the sunlight shines just right through the windows, the toilets sparkle like a rare diamond gingerly affixed, by loving hands, in just the right place on a priceless Fabergé egg.  I have to stop, stare and always find myself beaming with pride at the sight of our beautifully clean and glistening commodes.  When this happens it is hard to not let your ego get the best of you.  And, I’ve found, even harder to not have Olan Mills photos taken of the toilets to be displayed in places of prominence in our home, as well as the home’s of beloved relatives.  Naturally, the professionally made photos would be placed in ornate frames that were hand-carved by Buddhist monks from the wood of the majestic sequoia tree.  Oh I could go on and on and on, but let’s just end this with a retro commercial that most adequately portrays how I felt after finishing the bathrooms today.

Just to update you regarding the maybe/maybe not job in Shreveport, we are still waiting for news.  As the days pass, I am becoming less optimistic.  I feel certain that my new maybe/maybe not boss is very creative about finding funds, but in this economy you might be more likely to find a bottle with a genie in it, than some major contributions.  I’ve sent in some other resumes and only time will tell on those, too.  I suppose I could get distressed, but for now I’m feeling pretty good.  I have a partner who loves and supports me and takes the time to compliment the shininess of our toilets.  So even without a job, I think that makes me pretty rich actually.