Before Super Bowl XLV kicks off later today, I feel compelled to share a couple of theories I have relevant to tonight’s big game. First and foremost I believe that will.I.am (famous music producer and founding member of the Black Eyed Peas) and Mike Tomlin (coach of the Pittsburg Steelers) is the same person. They will be in the same stadium tonight, but I can guarantee you won’t see them together. Same person people…same person.
My next theory is that Jerry Jones (owner of the Cowboys) is the actual cause of all the dead birds, fish and crabs. I also believe he is to blame for the blizzards raging across the U.S. I think deep inside the new Cowboys stadium in his state-of-the-art laboratory something went wrong. While chanting and swaying deep in a trance, Jones mixed up chemicals with rat tails, eye of newt, pig skin and witch hazel in a combined attempt to improve the Cowboys season and take over the world. Only he miscalculated and his spell backfired. Why else would you have a blizzard in Dallas? In DALLAS people. You know I’m right.
And my last theory (which has been proven in football party after football party) is that queso dip is better with hot sausage. Trust me and you won’t be sorry. Fry up some hot sausage to include in your dip. Just put Velveeta, Rotel and hot sausage in a crock pot a few hours before the game. Oh and instead of tortilla chips use Super Scoop Fritos. Once you try this you will believe not only that I am right about queso, but also that I am right about will.I.am/Mike Tomlin and Jerry Jones.
The link below is an absolutely perfect source for pre-Super Bowl planning. Check it out – you won’t be sorry. Enjoy the game and please do not look Jerry Jones directly in the eye.
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