Diary of the Unexpected Housewife: October 2011

Monday, October 31, 2011

Ghosts of Halloween Past

I love Halloween. I’ve always loved Halloween. Here are some of my past and present costumes.

Ok...that's not me, but I did meet Linda Blair.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Stop Whatever You’re Doing and Make These Bacon Quiche Biscuit Cups

I want to go to the Waverly Louisville Sanatorium so bad. Not because I have tuberculosis, but because this seems like a particularly awesome place to visit. I’ve already started planning a vacation. My partner just looks at me and shakes her head, but she’ll go. I’m pretty persistent and it is just easier to go to the sanatorium than keep listening to me. I’ll keep you posted about our plans, but we ARE going.

I made this for breakfast today…along with our standard Lord’s Day Bloody Marys. This is a really easy and tasty breakfast. Go make it. Right. Now.

Bacon Quiche Biscuit Cups (www.pillsbury.com)

Ingredients

5 slices bacon

1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened

2 tablespoons milk

2 eggs

1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese (2 oz)

2 tablespoons chopped green onions (2 medium)

1 can (12 oz) Pillsbury Grands Jr. Golden Layers refrigerated biscuits

Preparation

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Spray 10 regular-size muffin cups with no-stick cooking spray. In skillet, cook bacon until crisp (or use already-cooked bacon). Drain on paper towels. Crumble bacon; set aside. Meanwhile, in small bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth. Gradually add milk and eggs, beating at low speed until smooth. Stir in Swiss cheese and onions. Set aside. Separate dough into 10 biscuits. Press or roll each to form 5-inch round. Place 1 biscuit round in each muffin cup; firmly press in bottom and up sides, forming 1/4 inch rim. Place half of bacon in bottom of dough-lined muffin cups. Spoon cheese mixture evenly into cups. Bake 21 to 26 minutes or until filling is set and edges of biscuit cups are golden brown. Sprinkle each with remaining bacon; lightly press into filling. Remove biscuit cups from pan.

Lord's Day Bloody Mary

Ingredients

Zing Zang Bloody Mary Mix

Vodka

Celery

Preparation

Add ice to glass mix desired amount of Zing Zang and vodka. Stir with celery and serve.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dusting and Drinking - Jamaican Dust Cocktail

I seriously hate dusting. I would rather clean stadium toilets. Well, not really, but you get the idea. I know it needs to be done, but I put it off until I start noticing a layer of dust on the furniture and then I screw up and try to draw something in that layer. After you do that you have no choice, you gotta dust. It never takes long to get that layer because the dogs and the birds are doing everything possible to create as much dust as possible. They excel at this task…especially the birds. The thing about the dusting that is so annoying is usually when I finish the task and sit down, I notice pet hairs and dust particles gliding by my face on their way to land on the surfaces I just dusted. It is a vicious cycle.

I use a swiffer duster. The nice thing about the swiffer duster is it “traps dust and dirt.” The trapping feature enables me to have a cocktail while dusting. This does bring some solace to an otherwise mundane task. This is my usual dusting cocktail. It is important that when dusting and drinking this cocktail you have reggae music playing. If you have dreadlocks, you can actually dust by “whipping your hair back and forth.”*

*Disclaimer - It is not wise to dust the ceiling fan in the whipping your hair back and forth manner. It does not end well. Trust me.

Jamaican Dust Recipe (www.drinksmixer.com)

Ingredients

1 oz light rum

½ oz Malibu coconut rum

½ oz pineapple juice

Preparation

Mix all three ingredients in a strainer with ice, strain into chilled cocktail glass and serve.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Freaky Friday Favorites - The Halloween Edition

I would be beyond annoyed if this were my neighbor. I hate to see what they are going to do for Christmas.

I could look at the photos from Nightmares Fear Factory all day. The pics are never not hilarious.

Source

And now for some classic You Tube videos. Prepare to be skerred!!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Jack-O-Lantern Cheese Ball and Surviving on Survivor

Pretty sure you need to make this while you wait for Trick or Treaters. Waiting = eating. Enjoy!

Cheesy Jack-O-Lantern (www.kraftrecipes.com)

Ingredients

3 green onions, divided

2 pkg (8 oz) Philadelphia cream cheese, softened

1 pkg (8 oz) shredded cheddar cheese, divided

¼ cup finely chopped red peppers

2 slices Oscar Meyer pepperoni

Ritz crackers or Wheat Thins

Preparation

Cut 4-inch length from green end of 1 onion; slice remaining onions. Beat cream cheese and 1 1 ¼ cups cheddar with mixer until well blended. Stir in slice onions and peppers. Refrigerate 1 hour. Shape into ball; roll in remaining cheddar. Cut pepperoni into shapes for the jack-o-lantern’s eyes, nose and mouth; press into cheese ball to make face. Insert green onion piece into top for stem. Serve with crackers.

I have always been pretty sure I could compete on Survivor. The only thing that would need to change was the actual surviving part. I’d have the mental and social game under control for sure, but in order to do that, I’d need access to a shower, plenty of food, cable tv and comfortable seating with reclining options. Additionally, I would need my own cabin. I don’t want all those other people around me, bothering me. The physical challenges would also probably be more fun if they were Wii based with beers to drink or maybe swimming pool challenges like standing on your head, holding your breath or funniest dive off the lowest diving board. Golf carts to get us to tribal council are an important addition, too. That just seems more conducive to survival than walking. Clearly, I’d need access to the internettes, as well. That way I could ask people watching what the other people on the island were doing. Speaking of the other people on the island, they would not have internet access, their own cabin, food, showers, etc. I think it would just be better for me if they stuck to the actual Survivor formula. Once all these factors are in place, I feel good about my chances of winning. Perhaps I will make my application video sometime this week. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

All-In-One Meatloaf Dinner - WTF and WOW Recipe Wednesday

Source

There is almost too much WTF going on in this picture. I mean I giant rubber duck in the background...really?!

Source

This reminds me of that Allstate Mayhem commercial about the blind spot...only that is a Koala instead of Mayhem, but other than that, the same. In fact, that Koala should be named Mayhem.

I made a new picture.

I got this idea from a show on Food Network. I was watching it Sunday with my sister. We weren’t really paying attention. We were talking about pie and drinking beer, but I think I got the concept of the dish. It was like an all-in-one dinner. I tried to recreate it. Here is the recipe I came up with…

Super Easy All-In-One Meatloaf Dinner

Ingredients

1 pound 85% lean ground beef

1 6-oz package Stove Top chicken flavored stuffing mix

2 large eggs

Heinz Ketchup (whatever your preference – I think less is more, but that is just me)

Salt and pepper

Del Monte Cut Green Beans (naturally fresh is better, but I was going for quick)

Idahoan Baby Reds instant mashed potatoes (naturally fresh is better, but I was going for quick)

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix meat, stuffing mix and eggs together. Make mini meatloafs and place in little crocks or ramekins. Be sure to leave room for green beans and potatoes, but their addition will come later. Cook meatloaf for about 25 to 35 minutes depending on size. While meatloaf cooks mix instant potatoes. Once meatloaf is finished take crocks or ramekins out of the oven and add green beans on the top, salt and pepper to taste and then top with scoop of mashed potatoes. Change oven setting to broil and broil on high until potatoes have a nice crispy top.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

"True" History Tuesday - Horror Relay Runners

The largest relay race competition in the world is the Norwegian Holmenkollstafetten. Traditionally, over 30,000 runners compete. The most exciting part of the event is always the 4 x 400 meter race. In this race four runners run 100 meters each and pass a baton. The worst time ever recorded at this competition was in 1978, but ironically the worst time was also the winning time that year.

The four runners of that team were the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Frankenstein, a Sleestak and Michael Myers. The four got together and really wanted to make a name for themselves as runners. They had a unique baton. It was a large butcher knife. It soon became apparent, due to their complete lack of any running abilities whatsoever, that they would never perform at the competitive level. Naturally, they were all upset, but decided they wouldn’t let this stop them from running at the Holmenkollstafetten. Their new strategy was just to kill all of the other runners. Their strategy worked. It was messy, but successful because most of the runners lived near water, prehistoric caves, an insane asylum, or a village. When the race started there was only one team. The race took 5 hours, 22 minutes and 8 seconds.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Halloween Fun

Ghostly Graveyard (http://www.tasteofhome.com)

Ingredients

4 cups miniature marshmallows

¼ cup butter, cubed

6 cups crisp rice cereal

12 oval cream-filled chocolate sandwich cookies

1 tube white decorating gel

1 can (16 ounces) chocolate frosting

Halloween sprinkles

Preparation
In a large saucepan, combine marshmallows and butter. Cook and stir over medium-low heat until melted and blended. Remove from the heat; stir in cereal. Press into a greased 13 in. x 9 in. dish; cool. Cut into 12 squares and set aside.
Cut a ½ in. piece from the bottom of each sandwich cookie. Crush removed cookie pieces; set aside. Write “RIP” on each cookie, using white decorating gel.
Position cereal squares on a large serving tray. With 2 tablespoons frosting, form a circle on each cereal square; top each with a decorated cookie. Sprinkle reserved crumbs around tombstones; add Halloween sprinkles.

Fake Blood Recipe (http://www.grossology.org)

Place two spoonfuls of clear corn syrup into a cup. Add 1 spoonful of water. Stir with a toothpick. Add 2 drops of red food coloring. Stir again with toothpick. Pour mixture into a Ziploc baggie. Add 3 pinches of cornstarch and 2 pinches of cocoa to mixture in baggie. Squish the cornstarch and cocoa into the mixture. Presto you have fake blood!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Oklahoma Sooners and It Is Not All About Me

I’m really not the type of person who thinks everything is about them. Although I do think I’m personally responsible for some weather patterns, making street lights change, Evel Knievel’s failed jump over Snake River Canyon and the creation of really good movies and television shows...other than that though, totally not about me. So it is weird how much I think I’m personally responsible for Oklahoma’s heartbreaking loss to Texas Tech last night. As we’ve mentioned before, I’m responsible for some weather patterns. Yesterday afternoon I wore an Oklahoma pullover coat. It wasn’t coat weather. I needed short sleeves. I was really hot. Once we got to Memorial Stadium to see the game, I was roasting and getting annoyed. Something needed to give. I got a little overzealous in my attempt to cool down the temperatures and an enormous rainstorm hit the area. There was lightning and hail, but it did get cooler…until we all had to get out of the rain and go inside the stadium. This was not pleasant. I don’t really like people that much and I really don’t like being that close to that many people. Some of them were stinky and many looked funny. My OCD was hitting explosive levels. I wanted a fire hose so bad. I felt like if I had one I could turn it on, spin around quickly in a circle and clear myself an appropriate personal space zone. The real injustice was there was also no alcoholic beverages for sale. I can’t properly deal with an apocalyptic-like setting with no booze. One high point was this lady who walked by with a plastic bag on her head.

I was at my breaking point and really wanting to clean something feverishly to deal with the pressure. When I saw medics go by with a stretcher and come back with a guy who had passed out, I knew it might be time to sacrifice myself. Death by corndogs and funnel cake. I had it all planned out. When suddenly at that moment the skies cleared and we were able to go back to our seats. I felt better about making that storm go away since I had caused it in the first place. It isn’t always the mistake, but how you deal with the mistake that matters. Once we got to our seats it was really quite pleasant…except Texas Tech scored on their first possession, but then OU answered with a touchdown. Then is started to get colder and colder and colder and Texas Tech kept scoring. I began to feel really bad. If I had dressed appropriately I wouldn’t have caused the rain and it seemed the rain had really thrown off my Sooner’s game. They seemed asleep. They did rally in the second half, but two missed field goals plus all that scoring that Texas Tech kept doing totally screwed us. The outcome totally sucked, but it is just a game and what we should really focus on is me. How will I overcome the weather I caused?