Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Blogging - “True” History Tuesday


Blogging was created around 600 B.C. in Peru.  Ironically, blogging was developed thousands of years before the actual internet and even the computer were invented.  During this time textile weaving was really all the rage with the Paracas culture.  Along with the fabric weaving, trepanation was also quite popular.  Trepanation is the ancient surgical practice of drilling a hole in one’s head.  It was very nearly as popular as tanning in cylindrical beds today.  In fact, both are equally weird.  At any rate, a Peruvian weaver named Simon Unicornanus went through the very painful process of trepanation to relieve some minor swelling on his brain.  He had walked into a wall after playing basketball with the Harlem Globetrotters.  A hole was drilled directly in the center of his cranium. Although the actual surgery was quite painful, the post-surgery results were spectacular.  Unicornanus begin having visions about sharing his weaving secrets with the world and basically gossiping and bitching about the ongoing antics of soap opera celebrities.  He also really wanted to share funny pictures he found along his trails to the Mochica Lands of Peru. 

Several years after his surgery, Unicornanus begin writing and drawing daily updates on the walls of the town square.  People came by daily to read his musings.  They being to use stones to draw an upraised thumb to indicate they liked what he had to say.  Additionally, some people would comment and have a conversation of sorts on the wall of the town square.  Unfortunately, Unicornanus eventually died as a result of the hole in his head.  His skull was displayed in the center of the town square with a specially sized and shaped Yankee Candle in the middle.  At that point, blogging died away until it came back again much much later.

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