It would only be right, if just like last year (click here for flaming beanie baby story), I told you a story about something my mom did that I will never forget. I could tell you about our phone conversation this morning and how she kept saying valeers instead of veneers. But, that would only be a new Amyism instead of a story.
When I was eight, my parents took my sister and me on a trip to Eureka Springs. I wish I were at my parent’s house right now so I could scan a picture from that trip. The picture is of me and my sister, wearing matching dresses, and standing on an arch bridge with a ridiculous fake background. I’m not sure why we even got this vacation trip photo. I really blame the weird 1970s more than my parents for that odd ball photo. At any rate, I have always loved dogs. The 1968 World Book Encyclopedias, that my mom still uses to reference current events (click here for example), are worn and tattered on the section about dogs. This is from me looking at those pages endlessly as a kid. I was a weirdo who spent hours reading the encyclopedia and incorporating all sorts of facts at odd moments in a conversation. I also used historical facts to freak out our babysitters with past-life regression tales. I was sort of a pioneer in this since it was years before Shirley MacLaine ever announced all her past-life travels. Anyway, my parents got me a dog for my sixth birthday. It was a dream come true. He was a Dachshund (pronounced dockson by my mom). His name was Baron Von Maxwell (Baron for short) and he was mine!
Since my sister is also a mother, I will insert a little story about her, too. She was terrified of dogs. Like Sally Field’s acting in Sybil, she would go freak-out crazy with them. This, of course, was completely hysterical to me and my dad. We jacked with her at every turn with my new less than 2 pound puppy. Finally, one night she was lying on the floor and Baron climbed up on her back. This Maury Povich style immersion therapy
worked and suddenly she was no longer afraid of Baron.
Two years later when
we took our trip to Eureka Springs, I cried at the thought of leaving
Baron. He was my best bud and followed
me around everywhere. The separation
would just be too much. I’d never
survive it. My parents caved (or rather my mom put her foot down with my dad)
and Baron was allowed to travel with us.
The resort where we were staying did not allow pets. Way before the Honey Badger, my mom didn’t
give a shit. She went to the vet and got
some valium for Baron and she bought a pink baby blanket (not sure why she got
a pink blanket since Baron was clearly a non-neutered boy with kiwi-sized balls). She wrapped Baron in the blanket and held him
(with his face showing) like a baby.
When the bellboy came to get our bags, mom stood holding Baron. She looked at the bellboy and said, “Be
quiet, my baby is sleeping.” He looked
at her “baby” and looked at her for an unusually long time and then kept
putting our bags on the cart. As we walked through the lobby she continued the
fake baby fiasco to sneak him in the hotel.
It was absolutely hilarious and completely endearing. She didn’t have to do that for me, but she
did and I love her for that.
Nothing says, I love
you mom like a tasty Mother’s Day cocktail.
Give this one a try!
Limoncello and
Prosecco Cooler with Raspberry Ice Cubes
Ingredients
Fresh raspberries
A couple sprigs of
mint
4 oz cold sparkling
wine
2 oz Limoncello
liqueur, cold (When you buy, just store in the freezer to keep cold)
Preparation
Put your glasses in
the freezer so that they are cold. Put
raspberries on a plate; separated from each other and place in the freezer at
least 15 minutes before serving time.
Gently ‘smush’ a couple of small mint leaves and add to each glass along
with 5-6 of the frozen raspberry ice cubes.
Add limoncello, then the sparkling wine.
Ingredients
