The Honey Badger Disposal

You know things are pretty sad and jacked up when you are excited about a new garbage disposal.  Our old disposal has done its job.  It was time for it to retire.  I’ve tortured it with pumpkin innards and potato skins long enough. 

We went to Lowe’s on Tuesday to pick out a new disposal.  I was immediately drawn to the one named Badger.  You better freaking believe I want something named badger under my sink.  “Honey Badger doesn’t give a shit.”  I bet with the badger I can cram an entire pumpkin and cobra down the sink at the same time.  You know what the disposal badger is going to eat for the next two weeks?  Pumpkin cobra.  Just in case, you think I have lost my mind and have no idea what I’m talking about – check out one of my most favorite You Tube videos.

We immediately purchased the badger and set up installation.  The plumber arrived this morning.  I really have to contain myself when we have plumbers, electricians, carpenters, etc over to do work.  It just seems like a perfect time to do something really bizarre.  Like pretend you have tourettes, answer the door like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein or hover over them and keep asking, “what are you doing now?”  This morning I had to fight the urge to stand over the plumber and crunch loudly on potato chips while he worked.  I left him alone.  Sometimes I am really strong.  With my ability to stay away, he successfully installed the new disposal.  I can’t wait to start putting my badass diposal badger to work!  It’s the little things that make life worth living.