Everything that could go
wrong, went wrong, with our Christmas decorating plans. We couldn’t find enough of the right bulbs
even after going to store after store after store, the ladder was jacked up, a
big chunk was missing from the tree we bought and we discovered, after driving
all over town, for bulbs that we also needed new lights for the tree. As our frustration grew so did our general
anger with each other. When we finally
erupted in an argument, that included accidently breaking one of the red bulbs
that we drove all over town to find, we failed to notice our neighbors had come
out of their house. Their daughter was
having her two-year birthday party. All
their guests came outside to watch her ride her new tricycle. Everything was pink and everyone looked very
pristine in their clean birthday guest outfits.
It was like a Ralph Lauren ad was being filmed in our neighbor’s front
yard. Meanwhile in our yard, we were
filthy, our hair was a mess, we were tangled in lights and a rare red C9 bulb
exploded on the sidewalk as we yelled at each other. We were arguing over these wooden decorations
that Tiffany always sneaks out to display.
It is a Santa and reindeer. I
think they are ugly. She thinks they are
cute as hell. Once we realized we were
being watched, we waved and said, “Hey!”
Our neighbors laughed. They are lucky we are pretty
easy going and did not overreact to their laughter, because our holiday
decorating bad moods were at the homicidal level. We could have easily
started a riot with their guests, but we gathered our senses and quietly (but
with loads of sarcasm) finished decorating.
I think you’ll agree…these
damn things are ugly. The reindeer is
missing half his antlers for God’s sake.
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