The Real Hunger Games – “True” History Tuesday
Many, many years
before Suzanne Collins wrote her page-turning trilogy, The Hunger Games, the
actual real hunger game battle took place and went virtually unnoticed by
history. The real hunger games, however,
was nothing like the post-apocolyptic novel series. This battle for survival and food took place
in the middle-ages in an overly crowded McDonalds drive-thru. Although the actual date is lost to history,
we do know that the event occurred somewhere around the late 1300s, just after
the invention of the two-lane drive-thru system. The new system was very confusing to drivers. People felt like other drivers were cutting
in front of them. The Bubonic Plague
made people jumpy and more easily annoyed.
Additionly, the mechanical overly happy voice asking if you wanted a mocha latte made people's blood boil. Combine the plague and the voice with the confusion of the new drive-thru system and you had
a brawl waiting to happen.
The straw that broke
the camel’s back was literally a soft drink straw that was thrown in violence
at a rider on a camel waiting for his Big Mac.
The straw thrower felt certain the camel driver had cut in front of him,
when in reality it was really just his turn to move forward to the payment
window. The camel driver unsheathed his curved
long sword and cut off the other driver’s head.
This unleashed pandemonium. All the driver’s began to rumble. Arrows, knifes, throwing stars, war hammers,
blood and body parts flew outside the McDonalds. The mayhem only concluded when one driver was
left standing. This driver claimed all
the orders and took them back to her village.
For the rest of her days, she was considered a hero.
Many, many years
before Suzanne Collins wrote her page-turning trilogy, The Hunger Games, the
actual real hunger game battle took place and went virtually unnoticed by
history. The real hunger games, however,
was nothing like the post-apocolyptic novel series. This battle for survival and food took place
in the middle-ages in an overly crowded McDonalds drive-thru. Although the actual date is lost to history,
we do know that the event occurred somewhere around the late 1300s, just after
the invention of the two-lane drive-thru system. The new system was very confusing to drivers. People felt like other drivers were cutting
in front of them. The Bubonic Plague
made people jumpy and more easily annoyed.
Additionly, the mechanical overly happy voice asking if you wanted a mocha latte made people's blood boil. Combine the plague and the voice with the confusion of the new drive-thru system and you had
a brawl waiting to happen.
The straw that broke
the camel’s back was literally a soft drink straw that was thrown in violence
at a rider on a camel waiting for his Big Mac.
The straw thrower felt certain the camel driver had cut in front of him,
when in reality it was really just his turn to move forward to the payment
window. The camel driver unsheathed his curved
long sword and cut off the other driver’s head.
This unleashed pandemonium. All the driver’s began to rumble. Arrows, knifes, throwing stars, war hammers,
blood and body parts flew outside the McDonalds. The mayhem only concluded when one driver was
left standing. This driver claimed all
the orders and took them back to her village.
For the rest of her days, she was considered a hero.
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