Monday, May 21, 2012

The Contents of My Mom's Purse, Midnight at the Oasis and A Homemade "Bomb"

It was odd taking the weekend off from my blog.  I kept thinking I needed to write something and then remembered I was on “holiday.”  It also kept us from having to pause from our 12-hour drive home to go to a McDonald’s, use their Wi-Fi and post my blog.  If you aren’t aware of this, every McDonald’s is equipped with Wi-Fi.  It is good information to know if you are taking a road trip.  In other news, my mom pronounces The Muppets as The Moffets.  This is a picture of my mom and Tiffany at my nephew’s graduation.  It should also be said that she had three granola bars, four peanut butter and saltine crackers and a frozen sandwich in her purse to for a two hour graduation ceremony.  I suppose you never know when you might get hungry.

A couple of really funny things happened while we were visiting family and friends last week.  One was when we were enjoying daiquiris my sister was making with her new Ninja Blender.  They were delicious and perfectly strong.  I was cooking dinner, we were listening to classic rock and just overall having a good time.  I did my rendition of Brian Johnson from AC/DC singing Back in Black.  I’ve worked on it over the years.  I think it is pretty spot-on and I’m proud of my imitation.  Anyway, Maria Muldaur’s Midnight at the Oasis came on next.  We all cheered because who doesn’t like a cheesy 1970s song?  I started singing and got to the part where Muldaur mentions sending her camel to bed.  This started a lively discussion about the sleep patterns of camels.  Do you read it stories, does it need warm milk and can a camel sleep soundly with the impediment of a hump or humps?  My sister finally exclaimed, “Wouldn’t a camel just send itself to bed?  This makes no sense! Why would anyone send their camel to bed?!”  Her boyfriend, Bo, said, “Well…it is the Oasis and it is midnight.  The camel was tired.”  We all cracked up, the blender was fired up again and our daiquiris were re-filled.  It was a good time!  On a side note – a brief read of all the lyrics for Midnight at the Oasis will show that sending your camel to bed is perhaps the least weird thing about this song and that the author was more than likely completely high while writing the song

Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Shadows paintin' our faces
Traces of romance in our heads
Heaven's holdin' a half-moon
Shinin' just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune, real soon
And kick up a little dust
Come on, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on, 'til the evenin' ends
'Til the evenin' ends
You don't have to answer
There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, prancer
And you can be my sheik
[Instrumental Interlude]
I know your Daddy's a sultan
A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him
Jump at his beck and call
But you won't need no harem, honey
When I'm by your side
And you won't need no camel, no no
When I take you for a ride
Come on, Cactus is our friend
He'll point out the way
Come on, 'til the evenin' ends
'Til the evenin' ends
Midnight at the oasis
Send your camel to bed
Got shadows paintin' our faces
And traces of romance in our heads
Oh, come on...

Another funny time was visiting one of my friends.  Her son likes science.  I like science.  So I usually try to bring an experiment of some sort for him.  This time I decided we’d make a “bomb.”  Time got away from us throughout the course of the day and ultimately I didn’t get to make my “bomb” until around 11:00pm.  First rule of thumb when making a “bomb” in a residential area = make it during the day and not at night.  I decided to test out my “bomb” and make one before calling her son out to make his own.  These “bombs” are quite easy to make.  You need a 12 ounce empty bottle (I find Dasani water bottles are the best), vinegar, baking soda, saran wrap and a hard surface like the street.  You just fill the bottle about half-way with vinegar, put some baking soda in a small piece of saran wrap, stuff the baking soda and saran wrap in the bottle, put the lid back on, shake up and throw the bottle with violence and gusto into the street (making sure to throw it down on one of the sides or bottom and not the top of the bottle).  My first “bomb” was a dud.  My friends and Tiffany were basically paying all this no attention.  Second rule of making a “bomb” = pay attention when someone says they are making a “bomb.”  I loaded up my second “bomb” and headed to the street.  This one was not a dud.  The super load BOOM caused porch lights to flick on all down the street.  Thankfully, no car alarms went off…I’ve had that happen before.  Third rule of making a “bomb” – stay away from cars.  My friend jumped up from her porch swing and started running in small defensive circles on her porch.  I calmly walked back to the porch.  My plan was to act like one of the confused neighbors trying to figure out what the loud BOOM was...history has taught me that blending can be the best camouflage of wrong doing.  Instead my friend began waving and saying, “Sorry.  Sorry.  Sorry.”  Once the excitement calmed down, we heard police sirens.  This started another series of defensive porch laps.  Thankfully, the sirens were not for us.  Fourth rule of making a “bomb” – don’t be surprised when it sounds like a “bomb.”

This video will give you an idea of the sound that rang through my friend’s neighborhood at 11:00pm. 

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