Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Oregon Trail - "True" History Tuesday

On this day in 1843, around a thousand people (including children) in Elm Grove, Missouri got on their covered wagons, horses, skateboards and DeLorean DMC-12s and headed west.  The train was led by Diana Prince (a.k.a. Wonder Woman) and Steve Austin (a.k.a. The Six Million Dollar Man) and consisted of over 100 wagons, 5,000 herd cattle and one invisible airplane.

Prior to heading out, the brave travelers had planned their journey by playing the online game Oregon Trail.  The settlers were unnecessarily concerned about Indian attacks and believed they could protect themselves by putting their wagons in two giant circles when sleeping.  Wonder Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man slept in the center of each circle because they were superheroes.  Ultimately, the settlers learned that the real threat was falling off horses, drowning in rivers, falling rocks, disease and Bigfoot.  Thankfully, Steve Austin utilized his powerful bionic implants to personally take care of the Bigfoot issue. 

Surprisingly or not really surprisingly because they had Wonder Woman and The Six Million Dollar Man with them, nearly all the settlers arrived in western Oregon safe and sound.  There they prospered.  Diana Prince and Steve Austin went on to have lucrative careers in television.

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