Today is my mom’s
birthday and tomorrow two of our very best friends are having their three-year anniversary. I called my mom today and sang to her. I’m going to see her in a few days and told
her we were taking her to lunch and I was building her a box garden. Every since I told her I made my box gardens,
she has wanted one. She doesn’t quite
get the concept, but still wants one. I intend to make that dream a reality. She also kept saying, "Don’t buy me anything!” “You don’t need
to buy me lunch!” Tiffany finally said, “Fine…we’ll get you a Happy Meal at McDonald’s.” Mom seemed excited about that and said, “I
haven’t had McDonald’s in a long time!”
I let her know that we planned to spend more than two dollars on her and
she needed to just shut her pie hole and enjoy the extravaganza. She just laughed and said, “You don’t need to
buy me anything.” There is no sense in
telling her to shut it because she isn’t going to shut it and you’re just going
to get caught in a series of Amyisms and circular reasoning. I finally just said, “We’ll just knock you on
the head, put you in the trunk and take you to lunch so you might as well just
go quietly so I don’t have to spend extra money cleaning blood out of the
trunk.” She laughed and said, “Don’t
spend any money on me for my birthday.”
Sheesh!!
Tomorrow, I’m making a flaming dessert. It seemed appropriate for the anniversary of our gay friends. I’m attempting to make
flaming bourbon bread pudding. I’ll let
you know how it goes. My mind is telling
me that I will burn my face off which will cause me to drop the hot, flaming
bourbon in the saucepan on one of the dogs. The dog's hair will then catch on
fire. We’ll all rush to put out the fire
on the dog. The dog will be fine, but my
face, that is still on fire, will touch the drapes creating a massive fireball that
will consume the house. We’ll all get
out safely, but Tiffany will look at me and say, “Nice.”
I had a dream last
night that I had a baby elephant in the house.
I’m not sure what that means. The
dream was super detailed. Elephants
worldwide had come down with a virus that caused them to be extra violent. Many elephants died from the virus and from
humans shooting them to protect themselves.
I found a baby elephant behind the dumpster at the grocery store. He seemed fine and I was worried about him,
so I took him home. He slept in the bed
with us and all the dogs. Tiffany wasn’t
happy. The elephant followed me
around. I woke up after the dream and
had to remember elephants didn’t have a violent virus and I didn’t have a baby
elephant to walk that morning.
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