Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Floor Care Made Easier with Big Wheel Technology

I sat down in the backyard earlier today.  The dogs were playing and I wanted to sit in the grass.  A moment of redneck hippie Zen never hurt anyone. Naturally, I did a thorough poop check of the area before doing so…you only need to learn that lesson once.  I ended up lying down in the grass for maybe an hour. (I don’t really concern myself that much with time anymore.  I’m nearly just like Einstein, only not Jewish, male or a genius…other than that though; we are pretty much the same.) I nearly fell asleep in the grass.  My outdoor almost nap got me thinking.  Mostly about the great weather, but also about how much I missed my Big Wheel.  If you grew up in the Seventies you know exactly what I’m talking about. 
I can never forget the feel of the wind in my hair while racing around the cul-de-sac where I grew up.  The thrill of pedaling as fast as you could, turning quickly, jerking up on the side brake and immediately tipping (or tumping if you live in the South) over and skinning the flesh off your arms and face.  Such fun!  At that time, I had a daschund named Baron Von Maxwell.  He used to stand on the seat of the Big Wheel with his paws on the handlebars, while I pedaled, he navigated.  It is a memory that has stayed with me…which I guess is why it is actually a memory.  I loved that Big Wheel.  I’ll never forget growing up and marking the transition by moving the seat back to the next slot of holes. That is a memory I remember, too.

The thing about the Big Wheel now is I see some serious cleaning potential in its design.  I have hardwood floors.  This involves lots of vacuuming, swiffering and mopping.  What if the Big Wheel had all these features?  A built in Dyson, side-panel swiffering lever and a pull the break spin mopping system.  Think not only of the fun it would bring to everyday floor care, but just imagine the fitness potential of such an apparatus!  I’m certain I am on to something big here and it isn’t just a big front wheel.  So maybe Einstein and I do share that genius thingy ma bob deal after all.  The Big Wheel Wood Floorminator…watch for it.  Cher and Joan Rivers, no doubt, will host the infomercial.


  1. We rode our big wheels til the wheels cracked and had holes so big they clunked. Shay would go 90 miles an hour down the hill by our house, I'm surprised she survived childhood!

  2. Did your seat crack and pinch your butt? Mine did and you remember that when it happens while you are racing down a hill!

  3. I absolutely LOVED my Big Wheel! Atlanta is really hilly so we used to ride them down the street hoping that there were no cars or skateboarders in the way. If I had a dollar for every scar I have from wiping out on that thing from standing up on it down the hill... I might be able to repay my parents for a few urgent care bills.