I found something stronger than Super Glue…dried queso on the countertop. Sweet mother I got a complete biceps and triceps workout just scrubbing the counters this morning. While I was doing that, a full on pillow rape occurred in the living room. I walked in on the assault just before the climatic end. I’m just so disappointed and shocked. I have no doubt the pillow was just sitting there minding its own business when it was attacked. So disturbing.
The recent lawsuit filed against Taco Bell claiming their meat mixture contains less that 35% beef got my worried about a couple of things. First of all, I’m pretty sure anything you can get from a drive-thru at 3:00am isn’t likely 100% beef. Next, when you are completely intoxicated in the back seat of sedan after seven hours of drinking, less than 35% beef tastes pretty darn good. Thirdly, did the fact that it is called a meat mixture never send up red flags to diners before? And lastly, when I grew up Taco Bell presented itself as the “Fresh Food Place.” Do you remember that? Does that mean I’m in for another shocker that Taco Bell doesn’t grow and slice fresh tomatoes each day? That they don’t have their own dairy cows and grate fresh cheese made from the milk of said cows every morning at each Taco Bell franchise? I mean we know now that only 35% of those dairy cows actually even make it into the meat mixture. So surely the other 65% of the cows are squirting out that fresh cheese for our tacos and chalupas daily. My world is completely turned upside down now. I can’t make heads or tails of this revelation about the meat mixture. I’m going back to bed until this all just goes away.