I have the feeling we aren’t in Kansas anymore…mostly because we aren’t actually in Kansas. But frankly, I don’t give a damn because I feel lucky and I feel like the force may be with me. This is a good feeling instead of feeling bad…you know feeling like I could have been a contender. And I really could have been…at tetherball in third grade.
I used to play with this kid Sam and we’d always say, “Play it again Sam,” because he was so good at tetherball. But one day, I went up to him and said, “Show me the money.” We went at it and I beat him. He cried and I yelled, “You can’t handle the truth! And man up, it’s like you see dead people or something.” He was so still and quiet for a long time that when he finally spoke, we all said, “It’s alive, it’s alive!” He looked me straight in the eye and said, “Hello…Houston we have a problem.” I wore a big Stetson hat on the playground so one of the kids called me Houston one day and it just stuck. I squinted my eyes at him because I knew he was accusing me of cheating. He wanted a rematch. He was such a punk and I guess he was feeling lucky. “You had me at hello,” I said. And off we went again.
We must have hit that tetherball for hours, but again he lost. My strategy was simple…shaken not stirred. Once it was over I felt like the king of the world. Sam crumbled to the ground and looked at me with sad pitiful eyes, “why WHY!” I looked back down at him, playing like I was busy thinking about something else and said, “You talkin to me?” He said, “well isn’t that kind of elementary my dear Watson.” So I said, “Here’s looking at you, kid and you want to know why? I’ll tell you why…because nobody puts baby in a corner, that’ why.” As I skipped off with my friends, I could hear him yell, “I’ll be back.”