Thursday, October 20, 2011

Oklahoma Bound Travels

Yesterday we started driving to Oklahoma.  Oklahoma is where my partner was born and where we both grew up.   This Saturday is Oklahoma’s homecoming and we decided we wanted to go watch our Sooners live.  Authorities don’t know it, but we are also bootlegging beer.  In Oklahoma, any domestic beer must not exceed 3.2%.  In Alabama, the domestic beer is closer to 6.0%.  Normally, people don’t know this, but when you grow up in Oklahoma, you do.  Stupidest. liquor. law. ever.  Anyway, we are bootlegging some Coors Light for my sister.  By God…she will have some properly percented beer!  We stayed the night in Tunica.  Mostly because Sam’s Town has two Star Wars slot machines and Paula Deen has a buffet.  We have our priorities.  Everytime I stay in a hotel I remember being a bartender at a hotel bar.  It was great money and I met some of the strangest and best people.  One thing that I will always remember was the naked people.  You’d be surprised how many people wake up in a daze and think the main room door is the bathroom door.  They would get up, need to pee, go outside, door slams and they were locked out of the room…naked.  Usually it was people traveling alone, because the ones with someone else in the room could knock and be rescued, but not always, sometimes the other person wouldn’t wake up to the knocking.  These people had usually spent some time in my bar before going to the room.  Once locked out the only solution was going to the front desk for another room key.  The bar was in the lobby and the front desk was visible from my bartender’s vantage point.  It was also visible if you were sitting at the bar on a barstool.  The regular’s and I placed bets on if we would get a locked out naked that night.  It was great fun.

Being a housewife full time has given me time to learn more about cooking.  With this new found knowledge, I will be doing a shrimp boil for my parents tonight.  I told them not to go to any trouble.  For my mom, this meant she should clean and mop the garage, move tables to the garage and put up space heaters.  Sure it is cold, but that is the point of the boil.  Drink lots, make a fire, boil some shrimp, etc.  We’ll be “roughing it” in the garage.  I’d put money (with the regulars at the bar, of course) on the fact that she will have a tablecloth on the table and that she will be mortified when I throw the boil on newspapers for us to eat like wild animals.  On the topic of being a housewife, I found this vintage adult book cover the other day.  


  1. I completely forgot about that 3.2 crap. To be fair, though, you can domestics from the liquor store but it's (last time I saw) PBR, Little Kings, Rolling Rock, Chihuahua and the like. Wait, Chihuahua is Mexican, sorry. Oh and an assortment of weird brands that make Milwaukee's Best taste like farking champagne.
    I hope you and your partner have a great time.

  2. haha. thanks! I forget about what you can get at the liquor store. At least it is slowly getting better.