Kids are weird. My Little Ponies are weird, too. They might just be the gayest things ever. It was hard for me to believe that Jerry Falwell was so upset about the Purple Teletubby, with the Little Ponies galloping around in a sea of glitter and rainbows. At any rate, one of the campers on Friday was weirdly running about, like they do. I asked her what she was doing and she looked at me like I was stupid. She said, “I’m Fizzy.” I’ve worked with kids for a really long time. I knew this was going to be a long answer, but still I asked anyway, “Who is Fizzy?”
She signed heavily and said, “She is a My Little Pony. She is a unicorn. When she closes her eyes she blows a bubble out of the top of her horn. See, like this.” She closed her eyes and was silent for awhile and then opened her eyes. “Did you see the bubble?” Naturally, I said, “Yes that was a really good bubble you blew out of your horn.” She continued on for nearly the entire duration of our time outside. I learned about Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, AppleJack, Toola Roola, Star Catcher and Sweetie Bell. If I weren’t talking to a six year old, I would have thought I was listening to the float lineup at a Gay Pride Parade.
A little later in the day, I looked at the same camper and said, “Hi, Fizzy!” She again looked at me like I was stupid and said, “I’m not Fizzy anymore. I’m Twilight Sparkle.” “Oh, of course,” I said, “My bad…I should have realized.” She shook her head and galloped off.