New Schedule

I was searching for more funny material regarding Anthony Weiner’s wiener this morning, but I got distracted and found this instead Dogs Vs. Sprinklers. 

My partner will be starting a new job soon.  It is with the same company, but different pharmacy and different hours.  She’ll be working seven days on and then seven days off and she’ll have the night shift.  She has always wanted to be a compounding pharmacist, so we are happy with the change.  The big issue will be the sleeping situation.  One thing I noticed from my time in unemployment is our four dogs and three birds are really loud throughout the day.  They have a lot going on and feel the need to bark, chirp and scream about everything.  This is not good for sleeping.  One thing I’ve learned in 16 years with my partner is…you do not jack with her sleep.  She’ll come at you like Brad Pitt in Fight Club and then quietly go back to sleep as you search under the bed for your knocked out teeth.  I fear for the dogs, but I really fear for the birds.  If everyone lives through this change it will be a miracle.  To add to the dilemma, we also have a window in our bedroom.  When the sun comes up it shines through that window like a Fresnel lens on the world’s largest lighthouse. 

The birds this morning.  You can't tell in the picture, but they are whistling and chirping...loudly.

The brightest window plus Harpo and Celie wrestling...loudly.

This morning I decided to take matters into my own hands.  Otherwise, that window will be broken out and the shards of glass will be used as shanks to stab the animals.  I made a care package.  I presented it with lots of fanfare (although I was pissed because Wal Mart failed to put my card in the bag…damn you Sam Walton).  The fanfare, of course, did not happen until she was fully awake and at a safe distance from her brass knuckles.  She liked the gifts.  I think we’ll make it through the new schedule…but I’ll keep you updated.

Although the tagline and packaging looks like condoms, these are actually earplugs.

This will terrify me to see Tiffany sleeping in this, but I will just find a way to deal with it.