Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Chris Kringle and Christopher Cross – “True” History Tuesday

Everyone knows Santa Claus as the jolly man who stuffs his fat ass down your chimney to deliver presents on Christmas Eve.   He travels the world in a sleigh led by flying reindeer.  He lives at the North Pole with a bunch of toy making elves.  This has been the story for years, but what you don’t know is Santa Claus also loves to sing and hates disco. 

Santa Claus, also known as Chris Kringle, got really pissed during the rise of disco in the 1970s.   He was always a singer and songwriter, but he only ever performed for Mrs. Claus and the elves.  His anger at disco convinced him it was time to take his singing to a wider audience.  He used some of his secret glitter magic, the same magic he uses to make reindeer fly, to alter his looks just slightly and then mesmerize record executives at Warner Brothers.  His debut album soared to the top of the charts.  His haunting ballads captivated the world.  He sang of sailing and riding like the wind and nobody every guessed he was singing about his sleigh and reindeer.  He really kicked disco in the boogie oogie oogie ass with his music.  Before going back to the North Pole he recorded Arthur’s Theme for the movie Arthur.  This song was actually about one of his favorite elves who had a drinking problem.  Christopher Cross Claus Kringle will always be remembered for Christmas and his record-breaking debut album Christopher Cross.  

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