Sunday, December 11, 2011

Embracing Your Inner Redneck

I’m just as scared of rednecks as the next guy, but sometimes you gotta tip your John Deere camo mesh hat to redneck ingenuity.  There are just some redneck ways that are exciting - like seeing lipstick on a purty mouth.  I decided today I would highlight a few of the things that I would categorize as redneck brilliant.  If something is good, it is just good.  Occasionally one just needs to embrace their inner redneck and not be ashamed to cook, repair or build in the fashion of our hillbilly ancestors.  When doing so, however, it is imperative to keep your hooting and hollering to a tolerable level.

A friend texted me this picture yesterday.  I was immediately impressed with the level of brilliance in this recipe.  It is just plum efficient.  I'm truly giddy to try this and upset that I never thought of it.  I'm a have a graduate degree for God's sake.

I love beer.  I love wind chimes.  How can this combination not be a winner?

There is nothing more stupid and smart than noodling.  Who doesn't want to hold their breath under dirty water, blindly stick their hand in a hole and pull out a fish with sharp little teeth-like fangs in their mouth?  It takes the boring out of fishing completely.  Plus, catfish is super good fried up with tartar sauce.

It is hard to find something more brilliant than crescent rolls.  The fact that you can wrap them around little wieners and fashion them into a holiday wreath only adds to their standing on the brilliance scale.

I'm a huge duct tape fan and I've never even kidnapped anyone.  The stuff is just awesome.  I've found you can build or create nearly anything with it.  It does my heart good to know that this spring I will also be making and lounging naked on this duct tape hammock.

Several years ago, we got a new toilet.  I so wanted to make it into a planter in the backyard.  Tiffany drew a line in the sand.  I didn't make the old toilet into a planter, but I do have regrets.  This grill is fantastic...although my OCD would only have me purchasing a new toilet to make this grill.

There is just something so heartwarming about the appropriately named Miracle Whip.  Sure walking on water and turning a little bit of fish and bread into a lot of fish and bread is really miraculous, but I'm hard pressed to ignore the miracle of Miracle Whip and that is not just because it has miracle in its name.  The shit is just good and THAT is a fact.  Every time I open a new jar, I think I hear angels signing with banjos.

No comments:

Post a Comment