Saturday, December 3, 2011

Murphy’s Law of Holiday Decorating

Everything that could go wrong, went wrong, with our Christmas decorating plans.  We couldn’t find enough of the right bulbs even after going to store after store after store, the ladder was jacked up, a big chunk was missing from the tree we bought and we discovered, after driving all over town, for bulbs that we also needed new lights for the tree.  As our frustration grew so did our general anger with each other.  When we finally erupted in an argument, that included accidently breaking one of the red bulbs that we drove all over town to find, we failed to notice our neighbors had come out of their house.  Their daughter was having her two-year birthday party.  All their guests came outside to watch her ride her new tricycle.  Everything was pink and everyone looked very pristine in their clean birthday guest outfits.  It was like a Ralph Lauren ad was being filmed in our neighbor’s front yard.  Meanwhile in our yard, we were filthy, our hair was a mess, we were tangled in lights and a rare red C9 bulb exploded on the sidewalk as we yelled at each other.  We were arguing over these wooden decorations that Tiffany always sneaks out to display.  It is a Santa and reindeer.  I think they are ugly.  She thinks they are cute as hell.  Once we realized we were being watched, we waved and said, “Hey!”  Our neighbors laughed.  They are lucky we are pretty easy going and did not overreact to their laughter, because our holiday decorating bad moods were at the homicidal level.    We could have easily started a riot with their guests, but we gathered our senses and quietly (but with loads of sarcasm) finished decorating. 

I think you’ll agree…these damn things are ugly.  The reindeer is missing half his antlers for God’s sake.

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