Thursday, March 15, 2012

Hoarders Drinking Game

Even though I’m not watching Hoarders as much as I used to, I still watch it from time to time.  I find the disorder disgustingly fascinating and based on the number of shows about hoarders, it would appear, I’m not alone.  I’ve been fascinated ever since I first read about the Collyer Brothers and saw the  Grey Gardens documentary.  Even as a kid, I thought, “holy moly, those folks are nutso!”  To this day, I can, and still do, quote Big Edie and Little Edie and when packing a suitcase or reading a newspaper, I always remind anyone who will listen (usually Tiffany) that it took police nearly a week to find Langley Collyer's dead body buried under suitcases and newspapers in his own booby-trapped house…just feet from his dead brother, Homer.  I also remember, as a teenager, meeting my first hoarder in person (or at least someone everyone knew was a hoarder).  I worked at a grocery store.  One of our customers was an elderly lady.  She smelled REALLY BAD and was always buying loads and loads of cat food.  My boss told me she used to be an English teacher at the high school (our town had only one at that time), but now she mostly stayed in her house with tons of cats.  She was totally repulsive and totally fascinating.  Interestingly enough, the same town where I grew up has been featured twice on shows about hoarders.  Apparently, I grew up in a hoarding hot spot!


There are some real bonus features from watching hoarding shows.  The top bonus is the cleaning spree that follows any viewing.  Another bonus is having a watch party.  You can have all sorts of fun with the appetizer menu!  You can also create wonderful drinking games and have loads of fun by putting the television on mute and creating your own dialogue (on a side note – this is fun with nature shows, too).  You can also have a viewing party via facebook! I’ve decided one day I will create a hoarders video game.  It will be a first-person shooter maze challenge and puzzle-solving sort of game.  Or maybe it will be a Wii active workout game.  I dunno, but I’ll create something.  In the meantime, enjoy this hoarders drinking game.

The Hoarders Drinking Game
This is just a beer drinking game with the occasional shot for the extreme stuff. (1 drink = 1 drink of beer, 1 shot = 1 shot of liquor of your choice)
If you see any of the following - you must drink the corresponding amount of alcohol.

Adult Diapers - 3 drinks

Running Out Of Time To Clean Up Before The Episode Ends - 1 drink
Dead Cat - 1 shot
Mummified Cat - 2 shots
Other Dead Rodents (Includes Squirrels) - 1 drink
Feces (Animal) - 2 drinks
Feces (Human) - 2 shots
Maggots - 2 drinks
Gagging Cleanup Worker - 1 drink
Electricity Cut Off - 2 drinks
Water Cut Off/Non-functioning Plumbing - 1 drink
Threat of Eviction - 1 drink
Co-dependent Family Member/Enabler - 2 drinks

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