Monday, May 9, 2011

Murphy's Laws of Golf

This is my bird Murphy.  He plucks his feathers, but he still tries to fly.  When he tries to fly, he falls to the ground.  He is accident prone.  Below are Murphy's Laws on my golf game.

Law #1 - If on the green and putting, the ball will normally first go rapidly past the hole.  And when putting again the ball will go past the hole again only not as fast as the first putt.  The arrows indicate the action of the ball.

Law #2 - If at any point balls are being held, nonstop references about balls will ensue.  Examples include: "My balls are dirty";  "Where are my balls?";  "Can I borrow one of your balls?";  "You hit my ball.";  "I can't find my ball.";  "You need to wash your balls.";  etc and on and on.

Law #3 - No matter where or when you play golf, you will end up behind the slowest damn players in the history of the game of golf.

Law #4 - If there is a hazard anywhere on the fairway that is where my ball (refer to Law #2) will invariably always land.

Law #5 - If the green is on top of a hill (circle denotes flag) the ball will land on the green yet continue to roll until it rolls completely down the other side of the hill.  The same process is often repeated on the next hit and often ends up exactly where you started on the first approach shot toward the green.

Law #6 - If you are aiming for the middle of the fairway, your ball (refer to Law #2) will land in the trees on either side of the fairway.  Arrows denote the potential areas you'll have to search.

Refer to Law #4 and Law #6 and Refer to Law #2 about lost balls.

And those are Murphy's Law of Golf.

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