“True” History Tuesday – The Amish Invented the Internet

The internet was invented by the Amish in 1973.  Jakob Vinton Cerf and his brother Isaac wanted to find a more efficient way to trade information.  One of their horses, called Ezekiel Hop and Trot was really slow.  Each time they put the harness and readied Ezekiel H & T for travel in their buggy, they knew it would be a long, long journey.  Trot. Trot. Trot.  Ezekiel H & T was the slowest horse in the world and by world, I mean 10 miles square miles of land in Pennsylvania.  Trot, Trot, Trot.  It should never take 6 hours to pick up a bag of Tostitos at the Amish Village Bake Shop.  Trot, Trot, Trot.  How in the world would they complete the chair their father had ordered them to finish today?  Trot, Trot, Trot.  Jakob and Isaac would never get to the farm of Zebediah to trade best chair staining practices.  Trot, Trot, Trot.  This was completely ridiculous. 

Jakob Vinton Cerf knew there had to be an easier way to exchange information and order Tostitos.  He dreamed of an information superhighway.  He imagined super fast moving horse and buggies with people quickly trading information like recipes, quilting techniques, churning butter and ways to fix things without using electricity. 

Then an idea came to Jakob.  He would put computers in everyone’s barn in the village.  He would make the computers out of duct tape, scrabble tiles, his mother's board for ironing, encyclopedias and twine.  Then he would connect all the computers through local networks in each computer called gateways.  All he needed to do was to use his sister’s yarn to make optical fibers, radio links and telephone lines.  It was just all about linking these gateways and then everyone would input information into the system.  Jakob unveiled his plan and all the computers at the village’s next barn raising.  The Amish immediately filmed the barn raising and put it on you tube.  Thus, the internet was born.