Tuesday, May 24, 2011

“True” History Tuesday – The Invention of Annoying

Being annoying was invented early in the 20th Century.  The Pillsbury Dough Boy and Snuggle Bear lived in a log cabin in 1915.  All they ever did was walk around laughing, tickling each other, rolling in blankets fresh out of the dryer, and trying to be cute.  Nobody liked them.  Around this time, the Jolly Green Giant accidently stepped on their log cabin.  He was looking for green beans.  He didn’t find any in their cabin.  The three of them decided to walk the earth and be annoying together. 

Eventually, they came upon Mrs. Butterworth.  She was on a giant table gliding around and talking about pancakes.  She opted to join them.  She was not only annoying…she was also sticky.  Onward the four of them went.  At some point, they were even skipping.  One day, late in 1917 they found Elsie the Cow.  She was squirting milk at them and laughing.  She was cute and annoying.  She joined them immediately.  A few weeks later, they found the Marlboro Man smoking behind a school’s gym.  He joined them and rode around on Elsie the Cow. 

Skipping through Italy, they found Chef Boyardee.  He smelled of cheap meatballs and ravioli.  He joined them on the path of annoyance.  On they went…all of them trying to outdo each other on the annoying scale.  All the while, being cute and talking only about themselves.  Out of nowhere, appeared the Energizer Bunny.  This cranked the annoying up really high.  He banged his extra large drum as he turned circles around the whole group of annoying annoyers.  Tony the Tiger heard the drum from the forest.  He thought it was GGGGRREEEAAAT!  He joined them, too.

The annoying was becoming so loud that Charlie the Tuna heard them from the sea.  He jumped out and was suddenly able to breathe outside the water.  He perched himself on top of the Jolly Green Giant’s head.  Ronald McDonald eventually saw Charlie the Tuna and knew he had to jump right on this annoying train.  On and on they went.  Finally, Mr. Peanut joined them and the circle was complete and thus, being annoying was invented.

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