Today was garage sale day. We started at the crack of dawn and by noon had sold out nearly all our stuff…which to us meant time for chicken, biscuits and a nap.
|This entire transaction can only be described as interesting.|
|Santa Claus during the off season.|
The sale prompted me to think of things you shouldn’t do when having a garage sale:
1. Eat anything sausage or bean based the night before.
2. Sell your “exercise” striper pole – you can fetch a much better price putting it on Craigslist.
3. Hire clowns to create a circus-like atmosphere to entertain the children…clowns will steal your shit.
4. Follow people around telling them the history of all your junk…they are paying a quarter and they don’t care.
5. Sell your used underwear – if I have to explain why then you are clearly twisted.
6. Forget to wear deodorant – this rule applies to more than just garage sales.
7. Not include a disclaimer that the sale is over when you are sold out. We advertised the sale was until 2:00pm and failed to put “or until all the stuff is gone and the garage doors are closed.” I’m currently writing this blog hiding in the closet because people keep knocking on the door trying to buy more of our stuff. I came out of the closet years ago, so the hiding now might cause me to have an emotional episode.
8. Forget to put a big sign that reads "Yard/Garage Sale Here"– an older gentlemen got on to me earlier regarding this issue. Apparently having rows of shit in your yard/garage and people milling about buying stuff is not a big enough set of clues to indicate you have arrived at said yard/garage sale.
9. Look obvious hoarders in the eye – NEVER MAKE DIRECT EYE CONTACT WITH THEM.
10. This is totally something you should do for a garage sale. Make this recipe to enjoy some quiet before the storm.
Overnight Blueberry French Toast (www.allrecipes.com)
12 slices day-old bread, cut into 1 inch cubes
2 (8 ounce) packages cream cheese, cut into 1 inch cubes
2 cups fresh blueberries
12 eggs, beaten
2 cups milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup maple syrup
1 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 tablespoon butter
Lightly grease a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange half the bread cubes in the dish, and top with cream cheese cubes. Sprinkle 1 cup blueberries over the cream cheese, and top with remaining bread cubes.
In a large bowl, mix the eggs, milk, vanilla extract, and syrup. Pour over the bread cubes. Cover and refrigerate overnight.
Remove the bread cube mixture from the fridge about 30 minutes before baking. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Cover, and bake 30 minutes. Uncover, and continue baking 25 to 30 minutes, until center is firm and surface is lightly browned.
In a medium saucepan, mix the sugar, cornstarch, and water. Bring to a boil. Stirring constantly, cook 3 to 4 minutes. Mix in the remaining 1 cup blueberries. Reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes, until the blueberries burst. Stir in the butter, and pour over the baked French toast.