Sunday, March 13, 2011

Things You Don't Do When You Have a Hangover

I did a few things indicative of genuine stupidity this morning. First off, I actually got out of bed.  This was a tall order seeing how I was completely hungover.  I continued celebrating my birthday last night.  Naturally, I tossed out any knowledge of drinking too much I had gained in my 41 years.  Anyway, against all odds I got up and went to the grocery store.  Why?  Because I needed lobster tails, of course. Now I gotta tell you.  It isn’t a good idea to go to the seafood counter when you are in an already precarious hangover predicament.  It was all I could do to get out of there in one piece. After crawling home from the grocery, I thought it might be a good idea to make some coffee.  While the coffee was brewing, I made the decision that I should eat a piece of birthday cake.  This was also a very bad idea.  After the coffee was made, I was convinced I’d feel better if I had my coffee on the hammock. Unless you’re really really sure of your abilities, it isn’t a good idea to try this…even when you aren’t wildly hungover.  It was like rolling a bolder up a hill and getting to the top and suddenly losing control and watching the boulder hurling down the side of the mountain toward your grandmother’s priceless collection of rare vintage bone china.  Needless to say, I ended up with coffee all over me, the hammock and one of the dogs.  After all this, there was only one thing to do…go back to bed.  That’s where I stayed until just a few minutes ago.  Naturally, I blame all this on daylight savings time.

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