The day has come when I must get rid of my Mazda Miata. It isn’t that I don’t love the car. I do…it’s a Miata for Christ’s sake. It just isn’t financially practical anymore. So I will miss it, but it is time to downsize and the only way to downsize from a Miata is to get a bigger car. I’ve got my eye on the Mazda 2. It is a cute little hatchback and it comes in this really annoying alien green color. Anything alien green color is worth owning in my book. Not sure why. Perhaps it has something to do with that family vacation we took to the Nevada desert back in the late seventies. I woke up one morning with no memory of the day except for a recollection of flickering bright lights and something looking similar to Greedo taking a blood sample. Every time the thought of that creeps into my memory, I have this really weird desire to phone home. You know just to check in with the parents.
Anyway…back to the car. We went today to test drive the Mazda 2. This is when I learned something. I always like learning new things and think any new lesson is worth learning and of course passing on. This particular bit of knowledge might help you in the future. If you wish to make a car salesperson (or perhaps any salesperson for that matter) disappear just mention the fact that you are unemployed. It was like magic. Poof we were done before we could say alien abduction. What is funny is I have really good credit, money to put down and actually had already worked out a deal with our usual salesperson. We stopped in today for the test drive and he wasn’t there, but we do have an appointment with him tomorrow. This other guy was just horning in on the other guy’s territory. So it made for a little opportunity to do some experimenting on this gentleman today. I did work in a science center right, so using the scientific method is second nature to me (as is denying, just like I was instructed, that I was ever in a large unidentified object that hovered over Nevada in 1979…which I wasn’t BTW). And sure enough, our test proved the hypothesis that mentioning unemployment can make commission seeking individuals run faster than a cheetah escaping an alien’s probe.
My next bit of experimentation will take place at the furniture store. Those vultures can drive you crazy with their lurking and following you about with a clipboard. I will see if my newly acquired deterrent word – unemployment – has the same glorious effect on them. Of course, I will let you know. You’ll thank me for this one day.