Tiffany surprised me yesterday by unexpectedly taking some candid photos of me engaged in my daily chores.
Well our plan to win the Oklahoma, Tennessee or Georgia lottery (or hell all three) did not pan out this month. Shaking that bad news off, I decided to once again clean the floors. Here’s the thing about the floors…it never ends. Four dogs generate plague numbers of dust bunnies. This fact constantly sends my OCD into overdrive and leaves me standing in the middle of the living room with my hands stretched to the heavens screaming why why WHY?!?!?!?! Hopefully at this point you are envisioning the prison escape scene from The Shawshank Redemption where Andy Dufresne crawls through the sewage drain and ends up on the outside of the prison…that is what I was going for there. I vacuum, I sweep, I swiffer and I mop just like Mrs. Doubtfire on crack and still it never ends. Then, suddenly, it hits me like the scene in Rocky where Apollo Creed punches Rocky in the side of the face in slow motion. I need to invent something that will end the dust bunny strangle hold that keeps us captive like when on that strange island Dawn gets tied to the poles and offered up as a sacrifice to the giant ape in King Kong. With my knowledge of science and hatred of dog hair generated dust bunnies, I could change the world. People would cheer me like they did to that kid in the movie Rudy…I think his name was Rudy. I have to believe that if I build this they will come like all those dead baseball players in Field of Dreams. I am all over this plan like chemicals on Karen Silkwood. I’ll make this happen…but for some reason I think I’d like to take a break from the floors and watch some movies.